Still Full

Posted on December 23, 2025 by sharhonda01

The holidays are upon us and can come with a slew of emotions. Most of the time those emotions are full of gratitude, joy, love and the magic that is the miracle of Christmas! Some of the time those emotions are empty from losses such as:

  1. The death of a loved one- whether it’s the first holiday or 10th, the feeling of loss is always there as their absence creates a hole where they should be.
  2. The brokenness of a family- knowing what was and what should be can leave a hole as the new reality is different than happier years.
  3. The brokenness of what never was- this loss is a loss of plans and dreams that never came true.

At Thanksgiving I was offered dessert while I was letting my belly settle; I said I was still full. I thought of how I should approach life this way. I have a full life with many blessings and joys, and so much to be thankful for. The noise of what isn’t and what never was can be loud, but thankfully it is not the only thing my life is made up of. The Christmas holiday isn’t about the presents under the tree, nor is it about Santa. It is about the miracle of Christ coming to rescue us and sending us forth to proclaim that Good News! Despite any temporal loses, the fullness of Christ dwells in us who believe (Colossians 2, Ephesians 3) thus saving us into an eternity where death and brokenness will be no more. This Christmas let’s celebrate the joy of Christ and fully embrace His love for us! Merry Christmas!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Still Speaking

Posted on October 12, 2025 by sharhonda01

I’m spending a long weekend at a friend’s lake house to be on the water, relax, and have extended quiet time. I streamed my church’s service and the message was on Matthew 6:5-15. In the sermon on the mount Jesus goes over how we should and shouldn’t pray, and how our heart posture is what God is after, not our eloquent words. I saw a quote once that said “pray not until God hears you, but until you hear from God” and it is applicable to my quiet time. I’ve been praying to hear more from Him and less from the world or even my own voice. Social media algorithms know what you like and pump your feed of things that match your preferences. I saw a post from a creator that referenced Isaiah 60:22; when the time is right, I the Lord will make it happen. God is talking about the restoration of Israel, but it gives an encouragement of hope. Although I found the poster encouraging, I didn’t hit the like button which signals to the algorithm machines to send more. Another post pops up the next day to ask, seek, knock and don’t give up. And another on God fighting for us and we just have to be still (a favorite verse of mine from Exodus 14). I chalked it up to the algorithm machines and didn’t put any thought to God speaking to me through the posts. I try to be careful not to assign promises to God that He didn’t make or use scripture for my own narrative. Later I went to the grocery store (which I normally don’t do when at the lake house) and “just happened” to end up in line behind a woman who had Luke 1:37 on her purse (Nothing is impossible with God) and I felt like God tapped me on the shoulder and said “the algorithm machine didn’t do that.”

My word for 2025 is possibility and God has been challenging me to believe anything is possible. God certainly has the right to say no to anything I ask that doesn’t align with His will. No doesn’t limit His power, but rather strengthens His power to be sovereign and get glory in a way that sometimes doesn’t make sense to me. I feel God has taught me that lesson the first half of this year and now we’re in a new season of believing yes to be a possibility too. I thought I learned that lesson, but noticed I quickly retreated to the “God’s no is sovereign” camp because the yes hasn’t happened. Yet, I’m not in charge of the timeline. When the time is right, He will make it happen. I don’t have to strive for Him to say yes; I have only to be silent. In my pride I can believe my obedience and good deeds earn me His blessings, but He wants me to ask, seek and knock because of who He is and not what I’ve done. Both yes and no are a possibility, and in the meantime there is the answer of wait.

Prayer is a relationship and relationships develop over time. In the waiting on which possible answer God wants to give, I can wait well by cultivating my relationship with Him. It doesn’t earn me His grace, but it does draw me closer to Him. It’s far easier to assume the no, but in doing so I’m disconnecting from seeking Him, allowing Him to work, and trusting His timeline. God is able to do more than I can even think to ask, but I have to ask and more importantly listen when He is speaking.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Still Living

Posted on October 12, 2025 by sharhonda01

I just celebrated another birthday. Birthdays in your 40s hit different than in your 20s. While I am grateful for all God has done in and through my life, I still grieve all that has not happened in my life. Sometimes I think it would be easier if the things I wanted were materialistic…a bigger house, luxury car, unlimited travel budget. Not having those things don’t make me feel like I’m less than. The relationships I desire of wife and mother, those make me doubt who I am and who God has made me to be. I wonder, am I too much to deal with to not be chosen? On the different side of the same coin I wonder, am I not enough to be chosen? I begin to wonder, God have you heard my prayers the last 25 years? Have I done something (or not done something) that has caused you not to answer? Then I remember Abraham….

God promised Abraham and Sara a son and that promise was fulfilled 25 years later. In the midst of those 25 years, God did a lot in and through Abraham. He defeated kings, took care of his nephew Lot, acquired possessions, earned the respect of those he came in contact with and most importantly stayed faithful to God. Abraham lived. Even in times of doubt and trying to take matters into his own hands, Abraham stayed true to desiring to follow God.

I’ve learned to hold 2 positions at the same time: I can grieve the life I wanted and live the life I’m in. Some days the grief and sadness win out (especially when clicking another year on the age bracket), but I am not without hope. I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if God will answer my prayer, but I do know He is faithful to never leave or forsake me. When the enemy plants those seeds of doubt of me not being enough, God doesn’t love me, it’s too late for you, God reminds me that I am covered in Christ’s righteousness, God loves me to the point of giving up His Son for me, and God is the author of time and knows the end from the beginning. As I’m in the middle of the gap of my beginning and end, all I can do is be faithful to follow as best I can, and live the life He’s given me. So live I shall.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Still Possible

Posted on March 13, 2025 by sharhonda01

I planned to enjoy spring break 2025 with a fun mini vacation with great food, read a couple of books by a pool and maybe have a mimosa. Instead, the straw of a broken bathroom sink part and kitchen disposal afforded me a trip to the backyard to look at the weeds because the lawn guy doesn’t restart service until next week. I chose to fast and process several things going on (and not going on) during this time. As I was worshipping to the song Promises by Maverick City Music, I focused on these words:

Though the storms may come

And the winds may blow

I’ll remain steadfast

And let my heart learn

When You speak a word

It will come to pass

Great is Your Faithfulness to me

God’s word doesn’t return void! I just don’t quiet myself enough to hear it. Good or bad, I try to plan what I think He’s going to say. Good in wanting Him to say/do what I want, bad in assuming He won’t bless me. This week I chose to focus on His word; not my voice or even the voices of others around me. I was drawn to 1st Kings 22 and the story of King Ahab, King of Israel. He wanted to fight against Syria and reclaim Ramoth-gilead and asked King Jehoshaphat, King of Judah to join him. Ahab made a plan and asked 400 prophets if he should go out to battle. 400! They all gave him a favorable answer that the Lord would give it into his hands. Seems like all should be a go, but they inquired of 1 prophet who stood alone, Micaiah who spoke the true word of God, not flattery to make Ahab feel good. Micaiah prophesied that Ahab would die that day in battle. Ahab’s intentions aren’t described, but the text describes his plans of being in disguise while having Jehoshaphat wear his kingly robes. In spite of that, a bow “drawn at random” struck Ahab in between the scale armor and breastplate. I’m guessing only Hawkeye from the Avengers could hit that on purpose, yet in ancient Israel it happened “at random”.

Though this was a scene of judgement (“And Ahab the son of Omri did evil in the sight of the Lord, more than all who were before him.” 1 Kings 16:30), God’s word came to pass despite Ahab trying to flee from it. Yes, God is a God of justice, but He’s also a God of love, mercy, grace, forgiveness and faithfulness. When Jonah fled to Tarshish instead of going to Ninevah as instructed, God came to Jonah a second time….after some time in the belly of the whale to think/repent. He’s the God of the impossible, not of what seems possible, manageable, convenient or makes sense in our eyes. He’s the God who provides, heals, and saves. God still does miracles today of life change, healing, restoration and so much more.

In January during my New Year mini vacation (where I did eat good food and read a book), I journaled to reflect on 2024 and open my heart to His plans of 2025. The word He gave me was possible. I felt convicted and challenged to believe that God can do all things (Mark 10:27), and to believe that though my righteousness is given from Christ, God won’t forget my faithfulness and obedience. He longs to show compassion to me and rejoice over me with gladness (Zephaniah 3:17) for God sees and hears me. Just as an arrow struck Ahab at random, His blessings can be as accurate as I trust Him that His words will come to pass. I’m listening for the soft whisper of God’s voice to hear His truths and waiting to see how He chooses to answer my prayers. They seem impossible, but He’s the God who defeated death; nothing is more impossible than that.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Still Trusting

Posted on May 2, 2024 by sharhonda01

I became a believer at 18 and thought life would be whatever I dreamed. Young, naive me dreamed of being married and a stay at home mom with 5 children. I’m a single woman with no children. I dreamed of being an engineer at a major company. I changed my major after a hard freshman year of college and have been teaching for the last 20 years. Dreams can sometimes encourage us to work towards a goal, or have something to hope in. Dreams can also disappoint us when they don’t come true and cause us to become stuck if we think there is no hope of change.

God has convicted me on my belief in Him as God who can receive His glory however he chooses, or a human-made version who does whatever I want. In wrestling with God being good, the conviction lies in whether I believe He is God and ultimately sovereign. I have to decide to trust Him even when the dream doesn’t come true as in my head. Trust can’t be in the answer or I’ll lose courage to pray. Trust must be in:

  • His heart- He loves me
  • His character- He is holy
  • His strength and power- nothing is impossible for Him
  • His omnipotence- He knows everything
  • His mercy and grace- He gives generously
  • His plans- they include me and are for me
  • His Name- The LORD, El Shaddai, Jehovah Jireh

We all trust in something whether we realize it or not. We trust in our alarm security system, our car, our savings, but mostly we trust in ourselves. It’s human nature to trust in what we think serves us. Humility asks us to trust in the will of the One who laid His life down so that we can have eternal life. God is not a genie made in our image to grant our every desire. Sometimes our good deeds don’t guarantee the exact vision in our head of a blessing or keep all the bad away. But He is a God who will give us a deeper present than an earthly dream. Those that trust in Him receive eternal life, the deposit of His Spirit and His presence. Those things bring a joy that lasts beyond this lifetime.

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
    but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.” ~ Psalm 20:7

“Those who look to him are radiant;
    their faces are never covered with shame.” ~ Psalm 34:5

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Still Thankful

Posted on April 25, 2024 by sharhonda01

“And the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “what shall we drink?” ~ Exodus 15:24

God led the Israelites out of Egypt and towards the promised land. They were sitting in the in between of not being in their destination yet. They had just worshipped God for parting the Red Sea for them to walk on dry land, while later it flooded Pharaoh and his army under hundreds of miles of water. But they felt the pangs of “I don’t have….” Here they are in Marah with bitter water that they couldn’t drink, forgetting the One who tells the waters what to do.

I am convicted on how I too grumble “I don’t have…..” When I take my eyes off what’s He’s already done, I forget what He’s able to do. Doubt starts to creep in followed by discouragement as I forget that He cares for me more than the sparrows. Sitting in the in between is such a delicate space to wait expectantly on God to display His presence, power and purpose. It’s also a delicate space to wait for how He chooses to express His glory, plan and sovereignty. Extended wait times, no, completed healing in Heaven rather than on earth, etc are still ways He shows love for us even though it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

Though we can’t go backwards, we can use the past as a reminder of all that God has done. God was with the Israelites in the wilderness as they waited to enter the promise land. He led them, fed them and taught them. He’s also with us as we wait in the in between of being on the road to where He’s leading us. While we wait we can either grow bitter and grumble, or remember what He’s already done and be thankful. Gratitude is the fuel that keeps us going as we remember His strength and not our lack. Praise Him for how He’s already provided, and trust that He hasn’t abandoned you. Remember that He knows what you need (Matthew 6:25-34); praise Him for how He’ll provide. It may look different than we plan, but trust His sovereignty.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Still Waiting

Posted on December 5, 2023 by sharhonda01

God is powerful, in control and magnificent. He created everything in the world from the colorful fall leaves to the uniqueness of us as human beings. Yet, he’s also gentle and as quiet as the whisper of a soft wind that tickles our cheeks. In 1st Kings 19 the prophet Elijah stood on a mountain in Horeb. Though a great and strong wind passed that tore the mountains, it was the sound of a low whisper that let Elijah know he heard God’s voice calling to him. The great wind and earthquake were loud, but God’s voice was like a whisper. In order to hear it, Elijah had to be still and listen for it. I too have to remember to be still and listen for God’s gentle voice to me. But listening isn’t the hardest part, it is the waiting that follows.

I used to think I could handle anything if I knew the outcome. Lately I’ve realized it is not whether or not I know the outcome that causes me anxiety; it is the waiting until the outcome happens that causes me to worry if I heard God correctly. I imagine Abraham and Sarah experienced the same thoughts as they waited for 25 years for God to fulfill His promise to provide Isaac. I have recently felt I have heard God’s voice speaking to me through dreams, the parable of the widow seeking justice (Luke 18) and learning of a friend receiving a medical miracle. All pointed to continuing to approach His throne of grace with confidence (Hebrews 4:16) and believe nothing is impossible for Him (Luke 1:37).

At first I was full of hope and faith, but the enemy whispered doubts of “did God really say?”, the same trickery he told Eve in the garden (Genesis 2:1b). Instead of allowing that question to steal my hope I am going to God’s word and recalling that God really did say to ask (John 16:24). Jesus told the disciples the parable of the widow in Luke 18 so that they would always pray and not lose heart.

God hears us when we pray. James 5:17 says that Elijah was a man with a nature just like ours. He prayed in 1st Kings 17 that it would not rain and it didn’t rain for 3 years. Elijah trusted God to respond and provide for him. Likewise I can trust God to respond and provide for me. In the waiting is how I live out that trust. In my self-preservation I tell myself His answer is no in attempts to just move on. In doing so I am attempting to put words in God’s mouth, and I’m not trusting Him to decide on the answer. I’m also not trusting Him with His timing, with my disappointment or even my joy should He answer yes. Waiting reminds me that I’m not in control; anxiety flashes at that realization. But in the waiting I get to see God provide more than just an answer at the end; He refines me to be more patient, kinder, and faithful as I depend on Him.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Still Hoping

Posted on January 3, 2023 by sharhonda01

Hope can be defined in many ways. It can be something you look forward to, something you believe or the placing of your trust. Regardless of which definition you choose, there is an outcome you are anticipating. That hope can be as small as a good parking spot, or tonight as I’m watching the Bengals vs Bills football game, the hope is as big as someone’s life as Damar Hamlin’s condition is unknown after collapsing on the field.

Hope is my word for 2023. It was my word for 2019 and I wasn’t planning to use it again, but God nudged me to focus on how He’s going to work through it and not my plans of a new word to add to my list of words. In 2019 I remembering being hopeful for a new season. The previous years were challenging and I was looking forward to a mountaintop season of life. This year I’m placing my trust in God and believing Him to always be good. I may walk through some valleys again this year, but God’s goodness isn’t defined by my circumstances. If this year boasts of many mountaintop experiences, God’s goodness still isn’t defined by my circumstances. Earthly blessings are just a tiny shadow of how good God is, but the hope of temporal things can point to the deeper hope for an eternity free from the brokenness we face in this world. I hope to see much of God’s grace and mercy this year through temporal blessings….I’m human, but my ultimate hope is in Jesus. My hope is in the One who makes mercies new each morning (Lamentations 3:22), restores what the locust has eaten (Joel 2:25), and has a place prepared for me (John 14:1-3). Even in the valleys He’s there leading and comforting me (Psalm 23) and works all things for His glory and my good (Romans 8:28).

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Still Remember

Posted on March 9, 2022 by sharhonda01

Surely[d] goodness and mercy[e] shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell[f] in the house of the Lord
    forever.[g]

Psalm 23:6

Some days I focus too much on the things that don’t go the way I would like. Some days I focus on my short comings, and allow them power to create insecurities and unrealistic expectations. Those days don’t hold much joy or peace. Similarly to the Israelites while in the wilderness, I don’t always set my mind to remember God’s goodness. God knew that we’d face disappointments, trouble and hardships in this life. But He also knew the way to combat them would be to remember His goodness. So tonight I remember God’s voice guiding me to Texas A&M, to the Corps of Cadets, to a bible study of a leader who heard God tell her to lead. Those steps were the catalyst to my faith and me becoming the woman I am today. I remember answering the call for a teaching and coaching position from an athletic director who remembered meeting me a year prior. With no contact over the entire year, God placed my name in his head to find my resume in a huge stack. I remember slamming on my breaks in traffic and seeing a huge truck behind me moving too fast with traffic on either side of us and a car in front of me. In an instant that truck had an opening in the next lane and I was safe. I remember hearing my breast mammogram looked questionable, and the radiologist ordering an MRI and later lumpectomy. The results came back benign.

David wrote in Psalm 23 of the assurance of God’s goodness and mercy following him all the days of his life. It’s easier to see God in those big moments, but God is present everyday! He is goodness, and extends mercy each day we don’t get the death and eternal separation we do deserve. In His goodness Christ died for us and through His grace we get the hope of eternal life and relationship with the God who created and loves us. In remembering that truth, we can worship Him. Worship by seeing those little blessings along the way that are easy to take for granted. I thank God for the hug from a student, encouraging words from a friend reminding how much value I have, and the snuggles from my dog after a long day. Tomorrow I know I will see more of Him each second He gives. When it’s hard to see Him, I must remember what He’s already done rather than let circumstances convince me He isn’t present and working. Thank you God that your goodness and mercy will follow me all of my days.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Still Thankful

Posted on November 25, 2021 by sharhonda01

“Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever!” 1 Chronicles 16:34

Today I stop and think about all the things I am thankful for. It’s easy to compare my life to others and think about the things they have that I don’t. And that’s exactly what Satan wants me to do to steal my joy and contentment. Instead I’m going to be thankful for all the things God has given me in His mercy and grace, for I am owed nothing. Thank you God for:

  • Health- healthy body, able to exercise and compete, able to play sports and dance
  • Family- those still here with me and those already in heaven
  • Friends- those that challenge me, encourage me, laugh with me
  • Max- best dog ever
  • Work- designed as a gift from God and where He works through me to love my students as they grow, and encourage my clients on their fitness journey
  • Church- I can worship and serve freely and carry my Bible
  • Salvation- the free gift of eternal life
  • Feelings- sadness to show me what I care about and joy to feel the highs

Many more things can go on my list. What’s on yours?

Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Still Fear

Posted on October 21, 2021 by sharhonda01

I have huge faith that God can do big, impossible things. And I have huge faith that He loves me way more than I deserve. But….fear still creeps in. It still causes me to doubt. It still causes me anxiety over what the future holds. In reading through the gospels this week I’m reminded that faith merely activates the trust and belief that God hears me and will answer. The lie I’ve believed is that faith activates the response I want. I’m rebuking the lie, and standing in the truth that regardless of circumstances I’m better than ok and God’s got me in the palm of His hands. My life is pretty good: I don’t have cancer, I have a great job and a business, I have a big and special family, I have great friends, and I have the best dog ever. I wish that list included a husband, cause some men really been letting me be the one that got away. I wish it included some children, that my business was thriving more, and a list of other things. I know that I’m doing good and right things, and this is where I have to cling to knowing that most of my treasures are in heaven and not on this earth (Matthew 6:20 “but lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven….”) In Matthew 6:27 Jesus asks who by being anxious can add a single hour to the span of their life. We all know the answer is no one can, but yet many of us still hold on to anxiety. When I read chapter 6 I think of how my needs are met and how worrying didn’t contribute to any of it. Even my faith didn’t cause any of it to happen, but rather His compassion, grace and mercy. And for that I’m still thankful.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Still Breathe

Posted on December 15, 2020 by sharhonda01

It’s been a long time since I’ve used this blog, but I was encouraged recently to dust it off so I’m going to channel those 8th grade editor in chief of the Woody Gazette skills.  If you missed my few posts from 2016-2018, I’ll quickly catch you up by saying I had quite a few trials during those years (biopsies, surgeries (yes plural), job change, car accident, broken heart, financial stress, etc.) 2019 was a tad bit better, but cue 2020! COVID-19 has changed what we all knew as normal. But the biggest trial for me was losing my mother. Through her illness and other trials I felt like I was holding my breath. I dared not to breathe, but rather I took a deep breath, put my head down and powered through to do all the tasks. Even at her death I felt I couldn’t stop and breathe because her last wishes and everyone else needed me.  As I thought I could take a breath, 2 students were murdered and I felt I needed to be there for my students. A couple of months of shelter in place and a dog later I exhaled. I felt my feelings, and as an ISFJ personality I had quite a few to feel!

Several things had me holding my breath, but the main root of them all was fear. Discovering that gave me the mindset to overcome and breathe hope. I needed to remind myself that God gave me a spirit of power, love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7), and that when I seek Him, He will answer me and deliver me from all my fears (Psalm 34:4). It’s not a magic formula as hard days will still come. Just today I cried at work. Remembering this is the week my mom fell ill was shadowed by tasks and the frustration was overwhelming. I took my breath to get it all done, but in the midst God carried me through.

Back to fear, it lies that I’m not enough and not doing enough. It uses my trials and disappointments as receipts to my “failures”. And it lies that things are “fair” for everyone but me. Nothing on this earth is fair; including for Jesus, who came and faced a death He didn’t deserve,  for all who believe to receive a gift of eternal life that we don’t deserve. In light of that, I can breathe a little easier knowing I’m not the lies fear tells me, but rather a loved and accepted child of God.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment